the short wanderer

Saw this note in my online drive and since it has been the most stressful week of the year thus far, I think it's the best timing to pull this 2021 archive out. TW (trigger warning): suicide - read at your own risk, and please seek help if you think you need mental health support  Spend all your time waiting  For that second chance For a break that would make it okay There's always one reason To feel not good enough And it's hard at the end of the day I need some distraction Oh beautiful release Memory seeps from my veins Let me be empty And weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight In the arms of an angel Fly away from here From this dark cold hotel room And the endlessness that you fear You are pulled From the wreckage Of your silent reverie You're in the arms of the angel May you find Some comfort there So tired of the straight line And everywhere you turn There's vultures and thieves at your back And the storm keeps on twisting You keep on building t...

A post from @thegoodquote appeared as I was scrolling my Instagram feed the other day. It says, "Ways To Put Yourself First in 2022" and listed 9 different things you can practise to do so. The second last one on the list caught my attention;  "At the end of the day, share 3 things that you are grateful for, or write them down on a piece of paper" This practice of journalling gratitude is something I was almost consistently doing at the end of 2021. I have a note in my phone entitled 'Gratitude Journal' where I would just list down things I was grateful for on a particular date. For example, when we went to Cotswold at the end of October, we were chatting with a group of Japanese students who were in awe when they found out I'm studying in UCL. "You must be clever!", one of them said to me. I should have probably responded more politely, but I remember frowning and being so puzzled since my sister and her friend (who were with me) go to LSE an...

I have a confession to make. Towards the end of 2021, I had been thinking about "shutting down" this blog. For some reason, I wanted to stop writing here, or at least make it private instead of a public page. But weirdly enough, the more I insisted on shutting it down towards the last days of 2021, the more I couldn't resist the temptation to write. I have drafts of posts accumulating either in my phone's notes app (including the most recent post I published), or just thoughts lingering in mind. I take note of almost every single random musing that comes across my mind every day, so I guess you can only imagine how exhaustive the list of drafts would be. To be honest, I don't have much to update on this blog. I think I've mentioned somewhere or to someone that my life has felt rather stagnant for the past year. But one of the major changes I have experienced for the last few months is that... I'm back in the UK, currently pursuing a childhood dream I'v...