the short wanderer

"Manusia kini lebih banyak termenung daripada merenung." Kata Ustaz Zahazan, dalam bukunya 'Himpunan Kisah Benar Tapi Pelik: Mendidik Ummah di Taman Kisah'. Daripada kitab-kitab sejarah yang muktabar, malah di dalam al-Qur'an yang kita baca sehari-hari pun, ada banyak ayat, peristiwa serta kisah yang bukan saja boleh memberikan rasa kekaguman dan keinsafan kepada insan yang membaca, tetapi juga menuntut kita supaya berfikir dan melihat dengan teliti (dengan kata lain, mengkaji) peristiwa-peristiwa ini untuk kita ambil iktibar dan pengajaran daripadanya. Namun, pada masa kini manusia tidak tertarik malah bersikap acuh tak acuh terhadap 'kisah-kisah teladan' ini walhal itulah yang terbaik untuk dijadikan pedoman dalam kehidupan. Daripada 38 kisah yang dimuatkan dalam buku setebal kira-kira 200 muka surat ini, ada satu kisah yang menarik perhatian sebab sangat relevan dengan situasi semasa. Tak seperti kebanyakan kisah lain yang ada menceritakan peristiwa lua...

We are just over two months into 2021, but I am still pretty much in a reflective mode - oh well, who wouldn't, considering how the past year has been, right? Planning to visit the beach more often this year :) I am not sure how to go about writing this post, but I guess you can look at it as a continuation of my reflection of 2020 that I have written previously. But before that, I want to take this chance to thank and appreciate my internship manager, who has been there to challenge my thoughts, provide me with new perspectives on life, offer me comforting words, and most importantly for being available when I need support. The points that I am going to share below, are the product of the conversations I have had with such a supportive manager for the past 6 months - and for that, I can never be grateful enough. So, here's 3 simple yet SO IMPORTANT things (of maaany other things) that my manager had constantly remind me of: 1. Take it slow One of the most frequent words that ...

It has been a year like no other. Not only because of the pandemic or outbreak or lockdown etc, but also due to the fact that I'm stuck at a junction where I have no clue of where to go and just spend almost the whole year trying to figure things out (and guess what, I still am). Spotify summarised it well for me this year; my top song for 2020 is 'Tomorrow, Today' in which the lyrics I have also quoted in a post I wrote back in May, and the song has indeed been put on repeat for the rest of the year ever since haha   Oh wait, hello! I hope the past few months have been good to you. Oh, how I miss writing. Or rather, I miss being able to write. It has been a struggle to pour out my thoughts into words. Remember how I said writing is part of my mental therapy? That said, yes, I did have days where I feel like my sanity is threatened as I'm not able to do proper reflections though I am still able to journal on my bad days. I tried writing in October and November but it ...

Hello beautiful people :) It has been a period filled with a bunch of mixed feelings for the past couple of months. I began July feeling very excited about getting a lot of things done. I was looking forward to reading more mystery novels, more sharing and writing, and completing a few online courses. It started well but halfway through July, I was feeling rather unmotivated to get anything done. It wasn't too much to say that I feel like it has been the period I have felt the least motivated in life. I even tried avoiding social connection and human interaction - not wanting other people to get the ' tempias ' of my negativity at that moment I guess. That probably explains my (kinda) quiet blog too I suppose. And I'm glad I took some time off - or else, I'd end up dwelling over the same thing over and over again, which is of no good to myself and to others as well. But that's July - August has been storing a whole different story. I haven't been sharing any...

I don't think it's too much to say that failures are underrated.  Did you know that a professor at MIT offered a course on failure  - because she claimed that, "failure is a more common experience than success"?  And while that is true, in my opinion, more often than not failures render more meaningful lessons than what success can offer. p/s: I am certainly more than aware that I may not be the best person to talk about failures as a life lesson, especially as I'm barely reaching halfway through my life journey - if I'm ever going to live to the age of Prophet Muhammad at the time of his death - but since this post is nothing less than a reminder for myself, I decided to put this post up anyway, after contemplating it for months  😅 In the span of exactly a month - from April 15th to May 15th - I had received the responses to four applications that I have sent in February and March (while I was still in London). The first one was an exception because I went f...

Naja.  Das Leben ist nicht einfach. Es ist schwer und ermüdend.  Geduld und Dankbarkeit , no matter how many times I have heard of it before; no matter how many times I have talked about it, ist leichter gesagt als getan. I realise that some of my posts for the past few months have been a bit sloppy and gloomy - this might be just another one of the kind; I wish getting over things is as simple as telling myself, "get over it je lah, duniawi je semua ni uhuk" But of course, I have to put this here because life is not a bed full of roses; neither it is a garden full of thorns, and I can't express enough how important it is to manage negative thoughts by being aware of it and acknowledging what was going on. So, here it goes.  I was a bit sad (again) as the fasting month brought its curtain down - not because Ramadhan was leaving, but because I was yet to move on from the fact that these unanticipated things happened. I have never thought that I would find it quite dif...

"...the questions that probably run through your mind would be, 'What's next?' , 'How do I proceed with my life right now?'... " Nur said. "Those are genuine questions that a lot of people asked after being in a long-term relationship , after they have invested all of their time , all of their effort , and they have expressed all of their love for that particular person. They have cared for that person for so long." Ustaz Mizi responded. In my case, it's not a person. It's a long term relationship I have been in for the past 15 to 16 years. A relationship that has formed quite a substantial part of me. I have sacrificed my time, my energy, and even my love life (?) for it.  ... (Okay I'm not really sure about the last one - well, when I was in school I don't think that a love life is necessary anyway, and knowing my 'easily distracted' self, I think it would probably bring more harm than good to my studies huehue) Funnil...

Pepohon cintaku kian merimbun Semakin dicantas makin bertunas Tidak mampu mendustai hatiku Rasa cinta fitrah manusia Have you ever felt so restless, having someone at the back of your mind almost all the time? Have you ever wondered about how someone is doing almost every single second? Have you ever felt like you wanted to meet someone so badly, though you have just met them recently? Have you ever felt like giving them a call or buy them presents for no reason? Have you ever thought that, you might have just fallen in love?? Calm down. It's fitrah . There's nothing wrong with falling in love - it's not forbidden, but even encouraged to do so! It probably started with a state of denial, when you first have that thought of "do I or do I not like him/her?" for days, or weeks, or even months. Denial, I said, as you started to find reasoning or excuses behind everything that you're feeling;  “Ahh, that can’t be it, I haven’t known him for long.” “Ahh, maybe I’m ...

I have a thing for movies or series that are adapted based on real-life stories. Frankly speaking, those are the only things that I am interested in watching; for some reason, I'm not really into fiction nowadays. During my first week of self-quarantine, I was caught up with watching this series which is inspired by real-life personal essays from the New York Times column, 'Modern Love'. I think the first episode is still my favourite, it was about a relationship between a girl who was living alone, and a doorman with a fatherly figure. The second one was good too, though I admire the chemistry between the interviewer and the interviewee itself more than their personal love stories. But that episode made me realise that there is actually no time limit in forgetting someone who used to be so dear to you. I hate to break it to you (or maybe to myself) that it basically takes...ermm.... Forever 😌 The girl in the third episode, Lexi (Anne Hathaway), kind of re...

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. The past month has been a long ride, especially with a lot of unexpected things that were happening - the sudden travel arrangement, the cancelled flights, the unexpected transfer and much longer quarantine period, and so on. Looking at how stressful the situation was, I thought I was coping with it badly, but I was surprised to find out that I was actually dealing with it better than some people. Nonetheless, the past week has been physically and mentally draining! I guess God knows I couldn't bear with anything more than what I've went through hence I am where I am at this very moment. No words can describe how grateful I am to be where I am today.  I don’t usually write stuff that I don’t feel good about. But since this was an exceptional situation, I think it forms an important part of my life. Also, since our perspectives change as we grow, I hope there's always something new that I can learn from it whenever I look b...