A post from @thegoodquote appeared as I was scrolling my Instagram feed the other day. It says, "Ways To Put Yourself First in 2022" and listed 9 different things you can practise to do so. The second last one on the list caught my attention;
"At the end of the day, share 3 things that you are grateful for, or write them down on a piece of paper"
This practice of journalling gratitude is something I was almost consistently doing at the end of 2021. I have a note in my phone entitled 'Gratitude Journal' where I would just list down things I was grateful for on a particular date. For example, when we went to Cotswold at the end of October, we were chatting with a group of Japanese students who were in awe when they found out I'm studying in UCL. "You must be clever!", one of them said to me. I should have probably responded more politely, but I remember frowning and being so puzzled since my sister and her friend (who were with me) go to LSE and I feel like they are both just as clever (probably even smarter than I am) and I don't see UCL and LSE being one above the other (but the Japanese students weren't as amazed, for some reasons). In fact, I personally think all universities in London are equally good. I couldn't stop thinking about it even after we were back in London. I kept on telling myself, maybe I have been so used to studying here that I slowly forget how much 'studying in UCL' means to some people. 'You are living someone else's dream', as someone told me.
Other things I have taken note of were the 'big things' like the day I got my part-time job offer (and yes, I was crying), the day I got an unexpectedly good mark for my practice essay (despite the short time frame and the circumstances I was in), but also the more arguably mundane things like the days I manage to pray on time or arrive somewhere on time despite the heavy traffic, or the day I found out how to do split-screen view on my tablet (it was a life-changing discovery!).
Unfortunately, this gratitude journalling thing I was into only lasted for a month, until the end of November. I guess I started getting busier with my exams - but I realised I shifted to taking pictures of the wonderful little things that warm my heart instead of 'journalling' about it. But somehow, that one anomalous day came because for the first time in 70 days, I pulled out the note app from my phone again to jot down some things that made me smile so widely that day.
It was February 6th, and it's a Sunday. My main weekly Sunday game plan has always been to finish off the essential readings I have been tasked to do for my Advanced Forensic Anthropology module. The day started off really well, as my roommate woke up early which means I could start my day early too - I have always been terrified of waking her up with the noises that I make in the morning (gratitude #1). I went to check the study room and it was empty; I was so glad because it means I can have the very much delayed call with a friend back in Malaysia without interrupting anybody else (gratitude #2). After the call, I went straight into completing my readings and was trying to finish it before I went out with some friends. And thankfully, I did manage to finish it on time (gratitude #3). I had lunch, which means I had food to eat (gratitude #4) and went out to be blessed with such a beautiful (oddly glaring) sunny weather as I walked around the south side of Hyde Park (gratitude #5).
After an hour, it was almost time for 'Asar, and I remember seeing a prayer space available nearby on Google before going out. To my delight, this prayer space is just 10 minutes away from Hyde Park Corner station with a very comfortable wudhu' place and even a toilet WITH BIDET! (gratitude #6). The water was a bit cold but at that point, nothing else matters - being able to find a comfortable space to pray to me is such a HUGE blessing. And, there's more! I went to Tate Britain with a group of friends only to later find out that they have a multi-faith room and again, I didn't have to worry about finding a *convenient* spot to solat Maghrib (gratitude #7)! I simply can't express how grateful and blessed I am for these things. I mentioned in a previous post that I have been praying to God so that He make me one of those people who regularly establish their prayers, and to me that includes not making *inconvenience* as an excuse - 'no convenient space' or 'no convenient timing' etc. Living abroad, it definitely does not make things any easier, but this time He made it all trouble-free for me.
Wait... it didn't stop there. After sending off some (new) friends at Victoria Coach Station, I started walking eastwards passing Knightsbridge while heading towards Kensington. I put on my headphone for safety reasons, but also because it's nicer to walk around with some music in the background. Halfway through, a young woman approached me (she even said sorry for 'bothering me') to ask for directions to a bus stop. She said she had been going back and forth but couldn't find the stop she's looking for. I looked at the online map on her phone and realised that she was on the wrong side of the road, so I told her that she has to cross the road and pointed to the bus stop she had been relentlessly looking for. I can still remember the relief she had on her face as she was saying 'God bless you!' and went to catch her bus. I continued walking home with a BIG smile; to me, being able to (confidently) assist/support people comes with a fully satisfying feeling I can never describe (gratitude #8).
Gratitude journaling may not be for everyone (read why here) but 'little' things like these matter a lot to me as together, it makes up a significant day or week or just a random impactful life moment that I would remember for a long time. Things have not been particularly 'easy' for me especially ever since I came to London for my masters, so moments like these really make me feel 'alive' :)
I think nothing sums up my experience of journaling my gratitude better than this 'quote' from Raja Sarina's blog post back in July 2021:
Some things seem insignificant, but if you learn to appreciate them consistently, you're able to look back at your life and notice that you were constantly blessed with something rather than deprived of something.
I hope wherever you are now, there's always something that make you feel blessed and glad to be alive. But at times things do get a little bit tougher, so I hope you know how to put yourself first and when to take much extra care of yourself (because I've learned that if you don't, no one else would do it for you!) and above all, seek comfort and strength from the One who owns it all.
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