the short wanderer

“What if I don’t get A*?” . “What if I don’t have any positions in my college?” . “What if I’m not good at speaking?” . “What if I have to REPEAT MY PAPER??” . . E(X)=Expectations (it's a maths term I am so sorry if some of you are not aware huhu) Being in a position where you left your high school as the best student of the batch will evidently got yourself caught in a net full of terribly high expectations and high hopes horribly haunting after you (too many adverbs yet it's still inadequate to describe how I really felt in those days). Wow, best student. Wow, doing A-level for 18 months?! Crazy. Wow, a scholar? Wow, that scholarship? Wow, amazing! And all those things they found out about me…in which will all eventually come to the exact same final mutual statement: “You must the genius brightest smartest one lorh” All I can do is just grinned, and say, “No lah, of course I’m not”. But (obviously), no one would believe what...

“Hamizah, what do you want to talk about actually?” Talk? What is talking again? Oh yeah, words. Words that come out of your mouth. Wait, I have to open my mouth? Err no thanks, let me think about it again. *           *           * I am not sure if I was the first kid in that kindergarten who did not perform anything (except from standing and staring at the audience from above) on the annual ‘Talent Day’ event. After a few minutes of being on the stage without a single word, a teacher finally called me to come down the stage and brought me to sit with another teacher at a corner; the last row among the audiences. The teacher asked me what I wanted to do, so I told her I was supposed to do some sort of story-telling, (well, that’s the plan I initially had with my parents) yet of course, I was freezing like a bronze statue on stage, holding a microphone but was as motionl...

"Writing is a channel for your stress reliever." Yeah, she was right. It has been a few weeks since my last essay deadline and I can see that my blog has been undergoing its moment of silence too (and if you can’t tell, I have approaching deadlines around the corner hence my blog has come back to life XD) Term 2 is still ongoing but I can’t resist the urge of writing this post. After all those hectic days of our UCL Malaysian Night and the unexpected snowfall, my heart is telling me that it is the perfect time to start tapping on my keyboard again. The snow. The unforeseen snowfall. My seniors and British friends were telling me “Don’t expect London to snow for Christmas, it has been years!” And of course, I wasn’t expecting any at all. Plus, throughout the whole winter I have been telling my family and friends that there is no snow in London so stop asking me where is the freaking snow. Like any other surprise, when the snow showers unexpectedly, who would...