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Letting God

No incident in life is an accident.

When my best friend first gave me the book 'The Art of Letting God' by Ustaz Mizi Wahid, I somehow had the gut that it will become something I really need in the not so distant future. Only a week after that I came to realise why Allah sent me the gift through her.

Being a scholar of this one particular organisation (if you know, you know) for more than three years now, I have always been convinced (by my own self if not other people) that we will be guaranteed with a job by the time we graduate from universities. Not to say that I've been working less harder than I'm supposed to all this while, but I cannot deny that part of me has always been having this assurance that the beginning of my career is kinda sorted out by the time I got my degree scroll in a few years time. But...the reality turns out to be taking a whole different path; life seems to be harsher than what we initially thought. Little did I realise I was a bit disappointed with what I just discovered from my friends who graduated not so long ago. I tried not to be distracted with the (partly) shocking fact as I still have another week of internship to complete at that moment. But after confiding in my best friend, my aunts, my parents, and also my senior colleague at the place I was interning, I can hear myself actually talking about the whole thing in a 'frustrated' tone.

Have you ever invested so much hope in something, only to find out that things are not working out the way you have always thought it would be? That was exactly how I felt for the past week...

Until the moment I read the book that my bf gave me on the same day I found out about the not-so-breaking news. A book of twenty one different chapters with one theme to emphasise; to surrrender to Him - to let God works and move on with life. After I have finished my reading I took a glance at the first sentence written on the back cover of the book:
Do you feel overwhelmed right now with all the pressures and uncertainties of life?
Now I know the reason the book is sent to me. Praise be only to You Allah, and thank you so much Amni :)

* * *

After a month of working and jumping from one place to another, I finally have the time to find a piece of tranquility for my mind - through drawing, reading and writing. While enjoying the time I have to spend for my own self at home, I found a reason to free myself from the misery I have been entangled with.

I guess the whole revelation that appear to me as a suprise is supposed to serve me as a reminder to leave everything only to Him and not to hope from any other. Not that I have not been involving Him in my journey towards the beginning of my working life, but I probably have been investing a little too much trust in something I thought I have been promised with - I might have been too reckless to remind myself that nothing is certain in life in the first place anyway. But now I learn that only He who deserves my full submission and surrender, and I should have always hold on to the saying that we just have to give our best and let Him do the rest.

How many times He had things figured out for me, without troubling me with a nasty and long decision making process? Like how He chose A-Levels for my foundation studies, like how He decided that flying to the UK works best for me, like how He had shown me that UCL is the best place for me to further my higher education, I believe He always have something figured out for me in the past, in the meantime, and most importantly the unforeseeable future. 

That's one thing I love about looking back to the past: there's so many thing to reflect upon and be grateful for! At this point, I definitely do not have the reason to lose faith about my future - He has always gotten my back with His plans!

Anyway, my story didn't end there. Upon arriving home, I came across a photo frame on a bookshelf in my room that looks unfamiliar to me. With a drawing of my 'portrait' in the frame as my birthday gift, my sister had chosen this quote to accompany her sketch:
Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.
(I told you, nothing in life is a coincidence!)

So dear self, dear friends, 
Let's remind ourselves that each one of us will inevitably go through some sort of hardship at some point in life. Whenever you're feeling like Allah is making things harder for you in any way, hold on to the trust that He is preparing something for you at the end of your journey - something more beautiful than your initial plan, beyond what your mind can imagine; as long as you believe in the power of surrendering to the Best Planner :)


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