A Tale on an Ice Rink

Finally, a daunting term has passed. Adapting in the first term is not as easy as I thought it would be. Emotional-wise, hmmm, might not be that bad. But in terms of organising life, that’s kinda a bit off. *sigh* Yeah, I was struggling to put everything into places and trying be as organised as possible. But, as people would have expected, regardless of the amount of my workload nothing could hinder me from going out and still enjoy life hahaha (err not too much I hope)

Last month, I went ice skating with my friend (disclaimer: I am totally a noob in skating). I ended up not even skating properly, but I got to take home some beautiful lessons though XD

I stepped into the ice rink and automatically got myself a new best friend: the rink enclosure XD I did not let my hand off it because I can’t even stand straight. I kept on sliding on my own feet! I can’t sit obviously, but I can’t stand either. So I just hold on to the edge, and try to stand upright. Lesson one, keep holding on, (I quote, Avril Lavigne XD). Throwing myself into a field that I have no idea what it is about really feels like stepping into the ice rink. Surrounded by people who seems to know everything about the subject makes me feel horrible. Just like on the ice rink, everyone’s moving and there’s you, somewhere at the corner, being stationary. But when I realised I was there because I want to learn how to skate, I stayed in there, I didn’t get out of the rink. Yes, every time I feel like I want to give up on something, I should think of why I was there in the first place. I keep reminding myself on my life goals, my dreams, and those keep me holding on, at least, to this moment.

I don’t think I took a lot of time to get myself standing (but still at the edge). Anyway yeah, finally I can stand! Yet standing is not even the first stage of learning how to skate though hahaha (noob)! Now that the enclosure has ‘helped’ me to ‘hold on’, I need to move on to the next level. I need to stand without holding it. There is a certain posture that you need to have to be able to stand on an ice rink with free hands. This is the hard part. It is always the hard part. Why? Because lesson two is, balance. Keep your life balanced. Balancing life has never been an easy thing for me. We are always confronted with new responsibilities in every new stage of life. But you need to find that ‘posture’ to balance. You’ll find it, eventually. You have got your aim, you’re basically on the right track ;) it’s just the ‘way’ to keep things in places that you need more time to figure it out.

Got the posture. Got the balance. What’s next? Time to skate! But, no hahaha I didn’t get through way too easy. The only way to start skating, to any extent, is to lift your leg from the ground. You wouldn’t want to freaking stand and freeze in a spot for an hour, would you?? Lesson three, move forward. It’s not as easy as telling yourself “hey girl, move forward”. It takes a mountain of courage and of course, being fearless. Fear of falling down. Fear of getting hurt. Fear of being ashamed. It takes a strong pile of determination to make a new step. Get rid of that fear, and move on! Falling down is not a measure of failure. It’s a process in acquiring success. Getting hurt does not portray a weakness. It’s a way of being stronger. “A person who never made a mistake never tried anything new.” (Albert Einstein could not be more genuine yall ;))

It felt so good after I could walk in my skate yeay! But walking is unfortunately not skating huhu. So slowly (very slowly), I tried to skate. I can move my leg in front, in other word, 'stepping' but my skate is not sliding forward *rolled eyes*. I just walked like a penguin XD Whatever, I’m just going to keep trying. And obviously, I fell down countless times (literally depicts my life lol). One of the times, the ice rink volunteer (I am not sure what they are called) offered her hand to me and I grabbed her hand. Lesson four, reach out. When you’re just about to learn something new you can’t deny that you need assistance and guidance. If no one reaches out to you, then reach out to someone. There will always be someone who is willing to help. I am so grateful that my transition mentors are so helpful in aiding us to fit in. As for my family, friends and teachers, I can’t thank them enough for their endless moral support. Don’t stressed yourself out because you don’t live in the world alone. But sometimes no one would reach you if you don’t reach out. “Light up your candle, shout out your voice, raise your hands above the crowd and someone will reach you” okay? (Westlife knows these things really well oh yeah XD)

I told you I fell down countless times. But the best thing to do is to rise. When you fall down so many times, you kind of learn and figure out how to get up on your own. If you had ever fell in an ice rink before, maybe you can understand how hard it is to stand on your feet again. I tried so many ways until there’s one time a volunteer told me to get on my knees first before I stand. (Well, basically I didn’t figure it out on my own in this case XD) but lesson five, get it right. When you finally find the right way to do something, it becomes easier. I fix and change my life schedule so many times, even up until now, (because I am still in the process of adapting hehe). To get something right is a long process tho J But Thomas Edison would never find one right way to light a bulb if he didn’t found out 1000 ways that would not work. So don’t give up in finding your way to rise again. It’s a long journey but it’s a therapy I would say ;)

If you have come to realise on what I wanted to share in this entry, one phrase might have hit you: comfort zone. There is no other way to become a better person if we don’t get out of our comfort zone and experience new things in life. From standing, to balancing, to walking, to skating, then falling, and finally rising, and fall again maybe, is a process in breaking my comfort zone. It’s tough, but I personally think it’s a way to lift myself up, yet it synchronously keeps me grounded :)