How to Walk Away

It's that season again - the season of waiting anxiously for university offers for A-Levels and IB students aka UK prospective students! Being surrounded by these future undergraduates, I cannot help myself from not being anxious about the offers too! 

I don't really know how does it feel to wait for such a long time for an offer since I only applied for three universities and I actually got my most anticipated offer in November, so...I can say it didn't really get into me that much, alhamdulillah. But today, instead of giving you guys hopes and good words (which I believe you guys have been hearing quite a lot), I am here just to share my thoughts when I am trying to walk away....from rejections, or many disappointments, in general.

For the past few years....I have got rejected by Oxford after my interview, which was a really good experience though (free two nights stay in Magdalen College, what can be better man XD), and I have also got rejected for a research scholarship I applied last year. Previously, I got rejected for a high school admission many years ago (that's PERMATA if you can't tell), well I got rejected to go into an SBP too (Thanks MRSM for accepting an SBP reject huhu). Okay maybe it's gonna be way too long to list everything but the idea I am trying to highlight here is, there will be some point in life where you are gonna get rejected (and I am pretty sure that includes relationship matters, if that concerns you). Anyway, whatever it may be, rejection definitely hurts even to a very small degree. For some people it might symbolise failures, or for some that's just another 'personal achievement', or for others...meh, that's just another phase of life.

Nobody wants failure in life - nobody applied for something to get rejected (erm, I take that back - sometimes you do actually do some things just to let it off your chest, isn't it? 😌). Nonetheless, walking away from rejections and disappointment takes a lot, but it can get easier if you actually 'prepare' for it. By saying 'prepare', I simply mean get yourself prepared not only to receive but also to accept rejections (wow juxtaposition detected!). Okay, but how? Here's some thoughts I would usually remind myself whenever things didn't work out the way I hope it to.

1. 'There is something better'

(cliche, but it helps me go through hard times in life) It might be helpful to think of the 'individual differences' element here. What is best for someone else is not necessarily the best for you. (eg., Oxford is the best for some people, but for my degree, UCL is second to none! - it's a statistical fact okay, not my anecdotal claim). So here's the thing, if something is not meant for you, that just simply means it's not the best for you. He knows what you don't know.

Somebody asked me before I flew to the UK, "If you want to study anthropology, why don't you study in Malaysia? It's more relevant here - given the fact that you're gonna work in Malaysia anyway" Erm he got me speechless though...but yeah...I still end up being in the UK now. (Alhamdulillah rezeki kat sini...) But if I was going to end up in Malaysia, I know that's just because He thinks that works best.

Having to stay in MRSM after being rejected by PERMATA, I can never express enough how grateful I am for that (though it took me more than half a year to move on ahaks).

2. It's not meant for you, for some actual reasons

I always give myself the thought of "Well maybe because if I do get it, I cannot handle it". Or in simpler words, "something bad will happen" - I may not be able to work things out, or I might not be able to handle the pressure, it might be too demanding, or I'm just not the best person for it. When I got rejected for the research project, I was a bit sad because I was really interested in the project - it was about pathology and archive 😭 but if it turns out that having me to be the research assistant is just going to turn the project into a disaster, I might as well just be grateful that actually I got rejected right huhu

Having to say that, when you're accepted into a uni, or for a scholarship, for a degree, for a position etc, that just simply means YOU ARE THE CHOSEN ONE SO GIVE YOUR BEST SHOT AND DO NOT DOUBT YOURSELF OKAY?

3. The time has come....

Yes, the time has come for a lot of things. For me, it's the time to reflect on my daily life routine. It's time to turn back to Him to ask for strength to make it through. It's time to learn how to get back on my feet again. It's time to realise that I may not have done enough. It's time to be aware that I have to do more. It's time. Time to think about every single thing that I have been blessed with in life and why I shouldn't be tremendously affected with losing that one thing I have been hoping for. It's time...to be grateful for a lot things I already have, but they're all taken for granted.

-

Back then in primary school and high school, when people asked for my biodata and there's a section where they ask for your 'life motto', this is what I wrote every single time: "Failure is success when we learn from it" - I found out it is supposed to be 'if' instead of 'when' but meh, that works too, for me :P

Rejections, they are not totally bad things - they don't exist in your life just to make you feel sad and depressed about it. When people say, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, it definitely does. It doesn't make you stronger overnight for sure. But it will make you more tough and resilient, IF and ONLY IF, you learn from those 'failures'.

To conclude, here's a song from Westlife - with a modified lyrics eheh - that I enjoy listening to while walking away from rejections and basically whenever I feel like life is being a bit harsh on me, though I am not sure if it's relatable for anyone else lol

"Here we are
Just a little older
Time goes by
But did I ever tell you why
I'm not hurt as much

It came to me
When no one is around
He'll always be
The one to understand, that's why
I can't miss The Love

All my life
I've been longing for my wants
All this time
He was the one,
So...

If you want someone that is here to stay
Swearing He's forever true
He'll never walk away
He'll never give up on you

And if you want a love that will save the day
No matter what you're going through
He'll never walk away
He'll never walk out on you"

With that, I hope that we don't lose our faith in our fate and I pray that He will give us the strength to hold on and walk away from the unanticipated disappointment and sadness. To be frank, I think I am  actually continuously living in an anxious position - though most of the time I thought I cannot really be bothered, but waiting for assignment results and fieldwork placement sometimes can got me restless haha. So if you have any other thoughts on how to survive these not very pleasant times in life, do share it (in the comment below I guess?) - would (be useful hehe) love to know how people go through their tough days too - and thanks for reading this spontaneous thought!

Lyrics quoted from: 'Walk Away' by Westlife