21.12.21 (From the Archive)

Very much overdue that I actually thought I would never end up publishing this anyway, but why not? There's probably gonna be a time where I'd want to go back and look at this again in the future anyway

Dear 2021,

It has been an absolute adventure to have met you, experienced things with you, and learnt so much along your side. Now that you are leaving, it just feels that I am doing injustice to not bid you proper goodbye.

In all honesty, it does really feel like it was only yesterday I stepped into a Popular bookstore in town, bought a notebook for my 2021 journal and wrote down my 2021's 'New Year Resolutions' in one of the first few pages. Now that I am looking at it, I have to say, I wasn't being ambitious enough on the day I had came up with these resolutions. In fact, I had only written a list of three things I want to achieve in 2021 in particular! Let me just try to backtrack where was I - mentally and physically - when I had written these down. Oh! How could I forget about that, considering Raee - my manager in TFM, who's now one of my good friends! - had very recently brought this up - "(just remembering) this time last year (we) were still figuring next steps of our lives together, now look at where we are hoho"

Exactly - this time in 2020 I had no idea where I'd be in a year, so the non-exhaustive list of NY resolutions make so much sense, considering how much of a struggle it was for me to get through life, when all I wanted to think of was just ways to survive another day. But hey 2021, I made it! Are you proud of me? I bet you would. You were tough to handle I have to admit! But as they say, I'm tougher than all the things I think are going to bring me down hehe

But 2021, you are special for some reasons. You have witnessed some of the best days of my life, and you have also witnessed some of the worst ones. You are full of uncertainties, ambiguities, curveballs, detours, surprises, laughters and tears. There isn't a year that I can compare to you, not even 2020. And for that, I think I will forever have a hate-love relationship with you - sorry but not so sorry haha

That said, I will never be able to say I wish I wouldn't have met you. Despite the nature of your uncertainty, quarantine-themed year, there's just too much for me to lose without you; my life-changing internship experience, amazing volunteering opportunities (that has even led me to an unexpected freelance career!), vibrant adventures and catch-ups I have had with my friends while hiking and lepak-ing, and most importantly, the time I have spent with my family and my love life: BOOKSSS <3

Haih now I'm getting the feeling that you are indeed a year like no other, and for that, I would like to thank you, for the past 365 days you have been with me. You have made me grow, learn more things about myself, discover what it takes to be present, throw myself out of my comfort zone, struggle to become someone with more patience and gratitude, shuffling and re-shuffling priorities as the world itself struggle to make up its mind, live life more wildly and freely, take the much needed pauses and breaks, and of course, be more kind to myself (as I write the last part I can still vividly remember the day I cry when Raee specifically pointed this one out - I have been too hard on myself these past years without even knowing it eh? :"))

Will I ever meet another year like you? Well, who knows. But I know that if you're a good friend, you would wish that I make the upcoming years better and better, and in spite of your departure, you'd be proud you were part of that beautiful journey. As I look forward to what's ahead of me, I want you to know that you have been a huge part of who I am today and what will become of me in the future. I will treasure every wonderful moment I have been blessed with and learn from every single mistake I didn't mean to commit.

You have been crazy and amazing, and I am truly really grateful to God that you, 2021, had ever happened to me.

Yours truly - the one who had been blessed to experience '2021' a.k.a. the year of detours,

Me :)

...no matter how many detours and adjustments it made, the caravan moved toward the same compass point. Once obstacles were overcome, it returned to its course, sighting on a star that indicated the location of the oasis. When the people saw that star shining in the morning sky, they knew they were on the right course...

- Paulo Coelho, 'The Alchemist'

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