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Of Supplications (& Health)

Period pain sucks.


Oh well, any kind of pain sucks I guess. But as it is notoriously known/perceived (please don't quote me on this isk isk), women get extra 'sensitive' during their menstruation period so here's a random note from an annoyed version of me as I went through the so-called period of hormonal imbalance last month lol

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I had literally just put the rice on the stove, when my stomach had a random muscle cramp attack. "Well, forget about cooking then" I said to myself in frustration while waiting in the kitchen for my rice to cook and the pain to (hopefully) subside. It did went away after a while, but I couldn't risk another cramp in the kitchen so I went back to my room after putting the rice in a container.

When I was back in the room, and low-key wishing someone can cook for me instead, my heart suddenly whispered, "It must be hard to struggle with an illness (especially a chronic one) and having to get someone else to take care of you." I stared at my face in the mirror, and my heart made a spontaneous prayer. I said, O Allah, grant me a healthy body so that I wouldn't have to trouble anyone with my condition. If you know me, then you would probably know how much I value my independence. I love doing things on my own, and I would love to stay doing things myself. One day I'll probably get old, but God please, I hope even on the days my hair turns grey I would still be able to 'stand on my own feet'.

Earlier that morning, I was watching a video on Instagram about how a blind man go around his life chores: it started with him showing how his shirts have Braille on it to let him know what is written on the shirt and what colour it is, then a footage of him chopping onions and making tacos on his own, and ended with clips of his judo training session. 

Towards the end of the video, he mentioned that he was training judo for the Paralympic. My heart leapt, "This guy is truly amazing!" The amount of positivity he is spreading through that video is unexplainable and it warms my heart to see that he didn't let his disability to stop him. He has a really supportive wife too, and the positive remarks in the comment section warms my heart even more.

I wonder if I would be that optimistic and energetic, had I been the one with that kind of disability. Allah says in the Qur'an that He won't test you beyond anything you can bear, but the idea of losing my sight is quite terrifying - especially as I am already wearing glasses myself (I've definitely been depending so much on my eyes (and my legs!) while enjoying myself in London!). So while He still let me have this 'gift of sight' on loan, it goes without saying that I should take a good care of it.




If you're familiar with al-Ma'thurat then it's highly likely that you are familiar with this one du'a:

اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي فِي بَدَنِي، اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي فِي سَمْعِي، اللَّهُمَّ عَافِنِي فِي بَصَرِي، لَا إِلَهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ

which is taken from a longer hadith narrated by Abu Daud. It roughly translates into: “O Allah, grant health in my body, O Allah, grant health in my hearing, O Allah, grant health in my sight. There is no god worthy of being worshiped except You.”

I used to read the al-Ma'thurat on a daily basis back then, which means I recited the prayer a lot too, but very few of them were recited 'from the heart'. This day with random little occurences made me realise that supplications are a lot more meaningful when you have 'reasoning' to come with it.

Praying for a good health vs. praying for a healthy body AND mind to be independent.

Praying for wealth vs. praying for financial capacity/capability to sustain myself and give out sedekah or do charity.

Praying for sustenance vs. praying for sustenance so that I can function well and be of use to myself and other people.

Praying for a long age vs. praying for a long age so that I can get the opportunity to serve my family and the society.


I reflected on supplications I usually make; it's usually very brief and not purposeful enough. I think if I know the real motive behind making those prayers, I can probably be more attentive, sincere, and passionate about the du'as instead of just repeating words I had "memorised over the years".

I envy those people who can literally cry while making their du'as because they know how helpless they are, or those who always smile while making them because they have so much faith in the power of supplication; it simply shows how much they put their heart into it. 

Hopefully the next time I recite all those du'as, not only those made after solah but also those doa sebelum makan, doa selepas makan, doa masuk/keluar tandas, doa naik kenderaan, doa bangun tidur and so on, I would be more mindful of why I am turning to God asking for those things in the first place. (I'm still struggling!)




p/s: at the time of publishing this post (March 4th), my parents and sisters has been infected with covid-19. If you can spare some time praying for the health and wellbeing of my family, I would greatly appreciate it :) jazakallah! 

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