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The Tune of June

The month of June has hummed a strikingly different tune.




From the life of living up to people's expectation (mine included), chasing after deadlines, and anxiously getting a number of things done on a daily basis, I was thrown into a life where there's no need to feel guilty about just chilling, yet I am still struggling to keep my mind from thinking about doing any kind of work. (God knows how many times I have to suppress myself from sending out CVs and cover letters to companies because it is just not the time yet...for me. But oh well, I still couldn't help writing (and completing) them all anyway - the drafts in my emails are soon gonna be filled with job applications waiting to be sent I guess huhu) 

My last submission was in May, so I had June completely free to myself. Apart from being unofficially assigned to supervise Adam's homework (as well as taking the place as the opponent in his (almost) daily chess routine lol), I have been burying myself in... books - and they're all fictional ones. It feels so good to finally have my hands upon the books that have been on my shelves for ages 😂 Oh well, I  think this would be something good to look back at, especially if I don't have this much free time anymore in the future.

After reading A Quiver Full of Arrows and A Twist in The Tale, I went to read Twelve Red Herrings (yes, another work of Jeffrey Archer with 12 brilliantly told short stories - finishing this one marks the completion of my reading on 36 short stories by Archer in just under three weeks hoho). I then moved on to read classic mystery stories from a book that I have gotten as a gift from Soo May around two years ago (hehe sorry May I just got the time to read 'em). Despite having read nine mystery stories already so far (out of 24), I have only particularly enjoyed five or six of them. 

Out of all books I have been reading for the past several weeks, the highlight of the month goes to...... *drum rollsssss*
Nothing Ventured by Jeffrey Archer! This time it's not a book that has been rotting on the bookshelf in my room, instead I had just recently bought it when I went to KL to meet my relatives last two weeks. Archer has been one of my favourite authors ever since I started reading the Clifton Chronicles in high school and I couldn't take my eyes off his new releases whenever I go to a bookstore since then. (The fact that my sister gave me one of his books as my birthday gift many years ago simply shows how much I'm into his novels and short stories). And I'm back to reading his writings because of PKP! How cool is that? A somehow trivial thing yet for me, it is indeed a blessing in disguise. I have always loved reading mystery novels and crime stories and this novel, in particular, is a thrilling story about the life of a detective, so I've definitely won myself a pretty good deal 😏

p/s: the story is also a fast-paced one - each chapter offers such an edge-of-the-seat plot - which earns itself an extra merit as I have always hated stories that progress rather slowly (hence the reason I am not really into watching dramas) 



I feel like it has been easier for me to go through life nowadays as long as I have something to look forward to, even if it's just something I am going to do on the next day. I have come to realise the importance of setting a goal; even if there are not for, you know, big things in life. #smallthingsmatter

So how did my first month of post-degree life go? It was moderately good, I would say. It wasn't as exciting I suppose but I just feel good even though I had one simple thing done for the day. The initial plan was to listen to at least ONE episode from a podcast (yes, it's The Good Life Podcast that I have been citing in a number of my posts), read at least ONE short story, AND complete at least ONE Duolingo lesson a day. But of course, plans are plans for a reason (and I have had days when I got none of this done because I was mostly not home for the day) - plus, why would I be so hard on myself when I feel that I do deserve this kind of break eheh (I feel so sorry for my Malaysian friends who are struggling with online classes now huhu stay strong peeps)

It was somewhere in June too when I bumped into a note I wrote in March - and this was written when my university first decided to go for remote learning and I decided not to go back (yet). I wrote about how I felt sad and wasn't feeling ready for a premature end of my degree and of course a premature departure from the UK. While reading that note the other day, I found myself smirking at my own (not-so-old) thoughts. Even if I am to be still in the UK now, I would still feel sad (lol) and I won't be able to wander like I used to, let alone hang out with my friends for a catch up over lunch or early dinner. By mid-June most of my course mates - at least the ones I'm close to - are not in London anymore, so I guess, while having the privilege to be home with my family during this trying time, I have come to term with the premature endings and other things these days (hmmm as long as you don't remind me of the flight tickets I have bought for my summer plans, I'm fine for now hahahaha jk - Idk if I have many hopes in those airline companies anymore 😌 pray for me though, I'm still expecting to get some refund despite the lack of response :'))

UH-OH. On that note - alang-alang dah tersasul sebut pasal traveling. I was watching an old TV series with my siblings a couple of weeks ago if I am not mistaken, and the series was shot in Nice (France) and Brussels (Belgium). I couldn't even go on watching the first episode until the end because the views look far too familiar (I haven't been to both cities but in my opinion, European cities look quite similar to each other). I then realised that I was just not ready to part with the fact that, chances are, I might not be able to see them in real life anymore. (Yet my mum kept on asking me to create photo books of places I have travelled to while I was studying - erm mum, don't you know how much I was emotionally triggered every time I looked at my travelling photos :') not now, Ummi, not now. Give me another few months or so and I'll probably be able to go through the photos; I want to cherish them, not 'sadly reliving' them huhu)

That said, I can never cease feeling utterly grateful to this day that I chose to fly to Dublin for a solo trip literally a couple of weeks before coronavirus was declared a pandemic. I am glad that I had never taken the opportunity to travel for granted for the past three years. Thank you ya Rabb, that was definitely one of the hugeeee blessings I've ever gotten in life. 

-


I guess that's the update of my 'moving on' phase with life - nothing great ventured for now 😂 I was rather hoping that Ramadhan would be a great boot camp for me to figure out how I would lead my post-degree life afterwards, but I think there's just something about Ramadhan - that makes me feel pumped up to get things done - that is not here anymore 🤔😌


Anyway, let's have faith in what will be and as usual, I hope things get better as time flies :) 




p/s: I'm actually longing for spiritual (and leisure) retreats 😪 thank God I have books as a means 'to travel' for now 😌




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