the short wanderer

I came across something from a book I re-read quite recently; it would be a bit long of a quote from a book since I want to provide some context, so here it goes: "In my final week of my internship... there were suddenly a few job openings in that organisation. A fellow intern friend suggested that I applied, especially since "I had the right qualifications" for one of the positions on offer. I obviously said no... I told her, "my plan was never to work for anyone", and "especially not for this organisation"... Her unyielding persistence was impossible to ignore. So... I submitted a bare form... A few weeks later... I got shortlisted... Three stages of interview later, I was hired." Okay, that (partially trimmed quote from the book) was just the context. The real content that I 'tagged' using a green sticky note in the book is...: "How did I feel? To be honest, I had mixed feelings. A part of me felt really disappointed with the new ...

I had been eyeing this one book for quite some time. It's the renowned bestselling book ' The Garden of Evening Mists ' written by the much-celebrated Malaysian author, Tan Twan Eng. The setting of the story in the 1900s compelled me to get my eyes on it, and after finding out that the piece had won the Man Asian Literary Prize in 2012 I had no reason not to add it to my 'urgent' wishlist and to my delight, my Secret Santa wonderfully fulfilled that request of mine last Christmas. I was reading the chapter where the main character started reading a translated version of Sakuteiki - the oldest collection of writings on Japanese garden-making - when my mind began to wander and seemed to be more interested in the world of its own; which led me to end up writing here instead of finishing the chapter. It wandered off to a place not at all foreign to me, and in fact, a place I've been missing a bit too much for the past few months. Yugiri - a garden the author kept o...

K embaraku  Beribu batu memakan hari Kembaraku Membawaku mengamati  Indahnya senja Tika terbenamnya mentari Kembaraku Membawaku menyantuni Makam imam-imam Sufi Kembaraku Membawaku melewati Runtuhan tamadun Yunani Kembaraku Disulam kisah berwarna-warni Lazimnya musafir Kembaranya di tanah gersang Namun keringatku mengalir Bukan dek dihantui  Hausnya berburu di padang datar Tapi lelah diburu nafsu dunia  Dan ujian nikmat tanpa henti Kembaraku Bukan gelap bertemankan pelita Tapi diiringi sinaran mentari Yang ku sangka hadir  Menerangi denai sang pengembara Ternyata hanya menyilaukan  Pandangan mata hati Bisikku andai dijemput Izrail Di akhir kembara nanti Pabila kudrat ku  Tiada lagi membawaku meniti hari Semadiku tidak ditemani sepi Tidak pula ditemani mimpi ngeri Tapi diiringi Munajat kembaraku  Dalam mengejar  Keredhaan sang Ilahi

The month of June has hummed a strikingly different tune. From the life of living up to people's expectation (mine included), chasing after deadlines, and anxiously getting a number of things done on a daily basis, I was thrown into a life where there's no need to feel guilty about just chilling, yet I am still struggling to keep my mind from thinking about doing any kind of work. (God knows how many times I have to suppress myself from sending out CVs and cover letters to companies because it is just not the time yet...for me. But oh well, I still couldn't help writing (and completing) them all anyway - the drafts in my emails are soon gonna be filled with job applications waiting to be sent I guess huhu)  My last submission was in May, so I had June completely free to myself. Apart from being unofficially assigned to supervise Adam's homework (as well as taking the place as the opponent in his (almost) daily chess routine lol), I have been burying myself in... books -...

I couldn't take my eyes off the words written on the screen. I couldn't help smiling while reading it over and over again. It had even made me put aside another work of Jeffrey Archer - A Twist in the Tale - that I've been reading for the past week. Despite the fact that our (supposedly) first meeting couldn't go on as planned, just hearing from the person I had looked forward to meet just made it up. We have never seen each other face to face; but I can still sense the warmth accompanying the message.  Dear Hamizah,  I do hope this finds you well, in good health and optimistic. I have been thinking about you and imagining how the last couple of months must have been extremely trying, coinciding with the final year of your degree course and all that it entails.   I was extremely touched; probably would've been crying had I not read it in the living room with all my family members around. I have slowly recovered from the hard time moving on from everything that I...

Naja.  Das Leben ist nicht einfach. Es ist schwer und ermüdend.  Geduld und Dankbarkeit , no matter how many times I have heard of it before; no matter how many times I have talked about it, ist leichter gesagt als getan. I realise that some of my posts for the past few months have been a bit sloppy and gloomy - this might be just another one of the kind; I wish getting over things is as simple as telling myself, "get over it je lah, duniawi je semua ni uhuk" But of course, I have to put this here because life is not a bed full of roses; neither it is a garden full of thorns, and I can't express enough how important it is to manage negative thoughts by being aware of it and acknowledging what was going on. So, here it goes.  I was a bit sad (again) as the fasting month brought its curtain down - not because Ramadhan was leaving, but because I was yet to move on from the fact that these unanticipated things happened. I have never thought that I would find it quite dif...

"...the questions that probably run through your mind would be, 'What's next?' , 'How do I proceed with my life right now?'... " Nur said. "Those are genuine questions that a lot of people asked after being in a long-term relationship , after they have invested all of their time , all of their effort , and they have expressed all of their love for that particular person. They have cared for that person for so long." Ustaz Mizi responded. In my case, it's not a person. It's a long term relationship I have been in for the past 15 to 16 years. A relationship that has formed quite a substantial part of me. I have sacrificed my time, my energy, and even my love life (?) for it.  ... (Okay I'm not really sure about the last one - well, when I was in school I don't think that a love life is necessary anyway, and knowing my 'easily distracted' self, I think it would probably bring more harm than good to my studies huehue) Funnil...

Pepohon cintaku kian merimbun Semakin dicantas makin bertunas Tidak mampu mendustai hatiku Rasa cinta fitrah manusia Have you ever felt so restless, having someone at the back of your mind almost all the time? Have you ever wondered about how someone is doing almost every single second? Have you ever felt like you wanted to meet someone so badly, though you have just met them recently? Have you ever felt like giving them a call or buy them presents for no reason? Have you ever thought that, you might have just fallen in love?? Calm down. It's fitrah . There's nothing wrong with falling in love - it's not forbidden, but even encouraged to do so! It probably started with a state of denial, when you first have that thought of "do I or do I not like him/her?" for days, or weeks, or even months. Denial, I said, as you started to find reasoning or excuses behind everything that you're feeling;  “Ahh, that can’t be it, I haven’t known him for long.” “Ahh, maybe I’m ...

I have a thing for movies or series that are adapted based on real-life stories. Frankly speaking, those are the only things that I am interested in watching; for some reason, I'm not really into fiction nowadays. During my first week of self-quarantine, I was caught up with watching this series which is inspired by real-life personal essays from the New York Times column, 'Modern Love'. I think the first episode is still my favourite, it was about a relationship between a girl who was living alone, and a doorman with a fatherly figure. The second one was good too, though I admire the chemistry between the interviewer and the interviewee itself more than their personal love stories. But that episode made me realise that there is actually no time limit in forgetting someone who used to be so dear to you. I hate to break it to you (or maybe to myself) that it basically takes...ermm.... Forever 😌 The girl in the third episode, Lexi (Anne Hathaway), kind of re...

Hariku sering tuah hadir bertamu Seakan dunia hanya untuk diriku Kasih alam sering menyebelahiku Seolah tiada ruang selain diriku Namun sepi ku rasa walau ku sempurna Takut ku pada indah dunia tak selama Kelompang di jiwa, tiada rasa untuk mendekati-Nya Tuhan ku bimbangi nikmat zikir ku tiada lagi Rasa asyik ini, ku sangka kau redhai Hampa sang nurani kerna ku ingin bebas, rasa hilang Tuhan dekatiku pada yang Kau cintai Naluri lumrahku memanggil untuk kembali Jauhlah diri dari pujukan dunia Oh Tuhan jauhkan daku Dari rasa hilang ini Hariku sering tuah hadir bertamu Betapa ku bimbangi Hilang dari pandanganmu * * * "Asar 1:45 p.m., Maghrib 4:06 p.m. Kelas ANTHXX 1.00-2.00 p.m., ARCLXX 2.00-4.00 p.m." Asar... Sempat? Tak sempat? Sempat tak? Sempat kot.  Soalan wajib harian setiap kali tiba musim sejuk. Satu-satunya 'exercise' yang aku lazimi waktu tahun pertama mungkin inilah; berlari dari bangunan akademik ke hostel untuk menyelamatkan...

Alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah, alhamdulillah. The past month has been a long ride, especially with a lot of unexpected things that were happening - the sudden travel arrangement, the cancelled flights, the unexpected transfer and much longer quarantine period, and so on. Looking at how stressful the situation was, I thought I was coping with it badly, but I was surprised to find out that I was actually dealing with it better than some people. Nonetheless, the past week has been physically and mentally draining! I guess God knows I couldn't bear with anything more than what I've went through hence I am where I am at this very moment. No words can describe how grateful I am to be where I am today.  I don’t usually write stuff that I don’t feel good about. But since this was an exceptional situation, I think it forms an important part of my life. Also, since our perspectives change as we grow, I hope there's always something new that I can learn from it whenever I look b...

It does feel a bit odd to write about this. I don't usually write about things until it actually happened; in other words, I don't go and brag about my life plans to the public - oh well if you know me well enough, keeping people in the loop is not really my thing. So this one is a bit different (hence the title), not only because I'm writing about things that have not yet happened, but because these events; it turns out that they may never happen... Well, at least not in 2020. I started off this year being very excited about 'a new phase of life'. A new phase that will begin after I get a degree scroll. I was looking forward to A LOT of things. Literally, A LOT. January was like any other conventional hectic month. I went to 3 different countries at the end of 2019 and was definitely working my a** off to complete all of my submissions. It was between the end of January  to early February when I made all these plans for my post-undergraduate degree...

Self-isolation. Who would have ever thought such concept that is presumably very alien to the extroverts - yet very close to introverts on the other hand - would be a daily mantra to the global citizen today? I came across a post on social media on a list of people who had done amazing contribution to the world during their time of isolation. One name keeps on coming up: William Shakespeare. Many of you might have also seen the plague meme , but to what extent the quarantine output is true, I'll leave it to The Guardian  to dwell on that. That said, I am not here to talk about the world-renowned English poet tho. This post is then, inspired by  the story of Dr William Chester Minor, an American surgeon who was of a huge assistance to Sir James Murray in the 1800s, which the show 'The Professor and the Madman' is based upon. Long story short, Sir James Murray was the man who initiated the work on compiling entries for the very first Oxford English Dictiona...